1.12.07

Well, last night represents one of the last steps in completing my entire dossier! My homestudy needed to be updated, and my new social worker at CHI needed to come by for a quick look at the house. Thankfully, everything seems to be moving in the right direction. I am just waiting for the travel dates. It may be that Cindy and I end up spending our birthday in Russia! Don't know for certain yet, but it is a definite possibility.

I learned that I will definitely not be able to receive updated information about the little girl. I am not surprised to learn this given the holiday situation. So, as soon as they let me know, I will be heading over there to meet this little one and determine if she really is my Katie.

I know that it sounds sooooo cold to say something like that, but there are just so many things to consider. I have values and beliefs that I need to uphold for both my sake and for the sake of my Katie to be. I also have to think about the future and what the needs of this little girl may be. There in lies the need to sound somewhat cold. Who will be able to look out for Katie in the future (when I am gone or no longer able) if she has special needs? That is not an easy question to deal with.

However, I also have to have a certain amount of faith. No child is perfect, and neither am I. I can only do the best that I can do and hope that that is/will be enough.

In the meantime, I keep working on preparing myself for Katie's arrival home. Butter and Abby definitely know that something is up. Butter will just walk into Katie's room and start sniffing around. I don't know if she realizes that it will be a little girl who will be joining the "pack", but she knows things are changing! Abby just walks into Katie's room when I go in there and just lays down. It is too cute! Abby also knows what the suitcases mean. Butter hasn't had too experience much with that, but a good bit is coming.

Gotta get back to the daily grind!

Christy